Toxic people – don’t lower yourself to their level.
I don’t really have these people around me anymore and it has been great for my wellbeing.
I can’t stress enough how important it is not to engage with this type of person.
It is so easy, and so human, to start a bit of tit for tat and to become dragged down by this behaviour.
Just walk away.
Don’t feel bad about distancing yourself from people who bring your mood down and make you feel bad about yourself. They need to go. Stop people pleasing and look after yourself – I am proof that it is good for your soul.
It doesn’t matter who the toxic person is, (it could be, and a lot of the time is, a family member), just begin to engage with them a lot less and see how the stress melts away.
I know that feeling you get when these people get to work on you….sick, sweaty, stomach in knots, heart beating faster… not good for your health! It’s not acceptable for anyone to make you feel like this!
YOU have the power NOT to let others make you feel how THEY want you to. It’s a simple choice you make. You will feel so strong when you decide not to participate in their drama anymore.
Your anger is expensive, they can’t afford it.
Your wellbeing is of the upmost importance, they can’t disturb it.
Your happiness is a priority, they can’t destroy it. Not without you letting them!
Don’t let it happen..Refuse to be affected by their behaviour. Ignore it. Just walk away. Quietly.
You can never win by engaging with toxic people. Ever. They need to be taken off your radar.
We all know this kind of person. Sometimes they appear to be lovely, and can sustain this illusion for a long time, or are a bit sporadic. One day they are so kind and helpful and another they are rude and spiteful. Then they make up for it so you end up being a bit confused but give them the benefit of the doubt and continue your relationship with them.
These people, no matter how little you interact with them, are so toxic to your life and wellbeing.
I know from firsthand experience and not just one person!
They have no control over me whatsoever nowadays. I was brave enough to cut them off. Totally. No apology. Boom!
There is no upside to having a person like this in your life. Whoever they are – friend, close relative, partner. I think I’ve experienced it from every group! They need to go, for your own sake. Never feel as though you have to tolerate this behaviour. If it’s from a work colleague then you may need to have a think about making some changes.
The damage this type of person does to your soul is major. Even if you only interact with them for a few minutes a day, the effect they have on your happiness can be big.
The thing is, you may not think that they affect you that much but if you remove them from your life you will feel like an enormous weight has been lifted. You will feel free. Nobody should tolerate being around anyone who brings them down, except your own children (lol, mine drive me nuts sometimes but what can I do?! Apart from carry on teaching them how they should treat others).
Anyway, children and parents are another subject, and parents should never bring their children down but, sadly, it happens a lot, and can carry on into adulthood too. Then the child feels as though they have to continue their relationship, but they don’t have to. It doesn’t matter what society or their friends think. Nobody is living in their shoes so they have to do what is right for them. It’s not selfish, it’s self preservation.
So, once these people are cut off, don’t ever go back! It’ll happen again. Definitely. They’ll try to drag you back into their dramas and negativity and this is the good bit. Where you rise above their behaviour and DO NOT give them what they want. Smile, turn away, ignore…but do not lower yourself to have an argument with them. They want to see you unhappy and uncentered. If you don’t give it to them you will see how powerful you are, they can’t get to you.
I’ve experienced death stares, nasty texts and being blanked when walking into a room because I cut some people off. They scared me at the start. A counsellor told me I could go to the Police with the threatening texts. I didn’t, but was ready to if I received anymore. When I refused to let anyone make me feel how they wanted me to feel, I became stronger.
Only I control how I feel now, and I choose happiness. Everyday.
Enjoy your day and remember, your anger is expensive. Nobody should be able to afford it.
I remember when I was at University. A snobby, ex-army, mature male student took a dislike to me, seemingly because I was common, blonde, a girl, had an Essex accent and got higher marks than him in every piece of work we did throughout our degree. He used to come over to see how I’d done and then his face would visibly contort. The icing on the cake was when I got a 2:1 and he got a 2:2. I was always polite to him and never rubbed it in. I rose above his behaviour.
More recently a couple of people have displayed extremely toxic behaviour, spreading untrue stories about me. One of them told me that I was “the most hated person in Buckhurst Hill,” thinking that this would break me as I’d always cared what others thought about me. Luckily, at this point, I didn’t care anymore. If someone judges me from information they hear from someone else then I don’t want them near me anyway! I used to judge people. Not anymore.
I have met some of the best people by ignoring what others say about them.
I’ve had quite a few people approach me lately saying that they can see what’s been going on and that they are sorry I’ve been through it. I reply that I don’t know what people say about me and I don’t care!
The toxic people can have each other. I will never been drawn into their dramas. I’m too busy enjoying the positivity that now surrounds me and rising above any pettiness that anyone throws my way.
If this is happening/has happened to you, have faith that the truth will come out. It always does. Just be patient.